Kermit taught me that it's good to be Green

I have always tried to be environmentally conscious because, you know, our Earth needs protection. I never quite understood, however, that in addition to protecting the Earth from garbage and chemicals and car emissions, I needed to protect ME from chemicals that would give me cancer and cause my (future) children to go into puberty early and interfere with my nervous system.

I have recently become AWARE and we have made some changes in our home already. There are a few major ingredients that I will no longer tolerate in personal products and I have found alternatives that even Jason will tolerate and that are affordable. (And yes, I walked around Target with a list in hand of what chemicals to avoid - I keep a list in my purse now.)

1. SUNSCREEN - Did you know that you should not use an SPF above 50? You should also avoid sunscreens that contain Retinyl palmitate (can cause skin cancer when used in the sun) and oxybenzone (disrupts hormone system and should never be used by a pregnant woman).

I went to Target to get some sunscreen and I had a really hard time finding one that met these three requirements. Burt's Bees came to the rescue with their sunscreen!!!

2. HAND WASH - So you know how we all love to do "antibacterial" this or that? Turns out that a lot of those antibacterial products use a chemical called triclosan or triclocarban. Not only is it toxic to the aquatic environment (!) but it disrupts thyroid function and reproductive hormones.

Recommendation: use hand wash that does not have this product - it's as simple as that!! Studies show that using hand wash that is not "antibacterial" is just as effective anyway.

3. HAIR PRODUCTS - This one was a biggie. See, sometimes I have the money to buy nice, expensive products like Aveda and sometimes I don't. Jason doesn't care, so he usually buys Suave, which I think is the cheapest you can buy. Recently I've been using Tresemme and I had to throw those bottles away as well as J's Suave........the major things to avoid in your shampoo:

PEGS, ceteareths and polyethylene

Parabens: propyl, isopropyl, butyl, isobutyl

DMDM hydantoin

Turns out, even products in the ORGANIC section at Target had some of these damaging chemicals in them, which proves the point that since we don't have any regulation on who can claim themselves as "organic" or "natural", we have companies that put just as much bad stuff in their products but claim to be good! Although I could have ordered something online, I wanted something right away, so at Target I found shampoo and conditioner from Nature's Gate that fit the bill. They also lather up much better than Tresemme ever did!!

4. OTHER PRODUCTS - You should definitely be avoiding Parabens, so out went my beloved Cetaphil cleanser and moisturizer which I have been using since I was, oh, ten years old. Turns out that it is basically ALL parabens. In came Alba facial cleanser and moisturizer.

If you have kids, a few tips:

avoid diaper cream that has boric acid

avoid baby wipes that have 2-Bromo-2-nitropropane-1, 3-diol (bronopol)

do not allow children under the age of 2 any access to fluoride toothpaste

If you want to check out how your products do in terms of health for you and healthy for the environment, check out the database at www.ewg.org/skindeep

You can also find lots and lots of information including more details on what I've already posted.

As it turns out, making these changes didn't change much in my home, except that I can be as sure as it is possible to be that I am using products that will not give me cancer. With SO MUCH LIFE ahead of me to lead, I will do everything I can to stay healthy and enjoy it!!

I'm Generally Not a Loser

Shortly after posting my blog yesterday, I got dressed to go to yoga, filled up my water bottle, grabbed my purse and got in my car. I fished around in my purse for my car keys. Hmm...they weren't there. If they're not in my purse, then they're on the hall table, so inside I went. No, not there either. If they're not on the hall table then they're on the dining room table. No, not there either.

4 hours later my car keys were still nowhere to be found. Not outside, not inside. I called Jason at work to check if he'd seen my keys. I checked Craig's List to see if someone mentioned having found keys and posted my own "Lost Keys" entry. Nothin'.

When was the last time I had my car keys? It was on Monday afternoon when I brought them into the garage to pop my trunk so I could load my trunk with brush to take to the yard waste site. Then I continued gardening for a few hours. I did not leave the house between that time and Tuesday afternoon when I wanted to leave for yoga. So........where did the keys go?

I do not lose things. Like the title says, generally I'm not a loser (of things). It happens to us all, of course, but I usually find the things I misplace. Not so with these car keys. Jason and I searched all night. And I searched all this morning too.

My best explanations are that I put them on the back of Jason's trunk when I was gardening and he drove off with them and they're gone. Or I left them in the yard/on the driveway and they were stolen or some animal made off with them. The last possibility is that they were stolen out of the garage while I was working in the yard (there have been a rash of burglaries out of garages in our area while people are mowing their lawns, I'm not just being dramatic.) No matter what happened, those suckers are gone.

Losing my keys makes me very, very sad. My keychain was a Richard Scarry keychain that was given to me by my dear friend BMann and I've gotten endless compliments on it. AND I LOVE RICHARD SCARRY AND IT WAS SOOOOO COOL. I am also very sad because I realized I lost them right after I posted a blog entry about how well I am managing my stress. And then THUD - big annoying thing in my lap. Karma????? Kind of a "hey, let's see how you do with this stress tough stuff??!!"

Losing car keys is only really annoying when you're me and you do not have a back-up set. Well, I thought I had a back-up set that I gave to Jason at one point, but so many things are still in boxes from the move that if I have a back-up set, they could be anywhere. No back-up set and I really, really need to use my car. You know, to go places.

It turns out that getting new car keys is easy, but annoying. I had to have my car TOWED to a Ford dealership to have keys cut because they have to make them using a computer while the key is in the ignition - apparently cars are very fancy these days. I did this and they even made me a new clicky remote thing too.

The bad news is that the whole shebang cost $434, right when we can least afford it. Well that'll teach me to work on the yard!!

The Day The Meds Went Away

For the three of you that read my blog, you may or may not know that I am bipolar. The diagnosis is bipolar 2, although that is only because they haven't officially put bipolar 3 and bipolar 4 in the DSM yet. (Not kidding.)

I was diagnosed with bipolar in 2008 when the world kind of collapsed around me and I couldn't even hold my job any longer. After playing around with some medication, I got on the right cocktail, which I have been on ever since. I also did talk therapy until about April 2009. It was a godsend.

Since 2009, I have worked REALLY HARD on my bipolar. I joined a support group for a while. Mostly, though, I have done a lot of work on things that support mental health and these have led me to a magical moment - living without medication!!

I decided to start tapering off of my medication before the wedding in preparation for getting pregnant. I, along with my psychiatrist, believe that even medications that are deemed "safe" during pregnancy do not belong anywhere near a developing fetus, and so I would not be on any of them while pregnant. I have no idea when we will start trying, if we ever do (children might be financially out of range for us), but I had to know what would happen if I were to be without meds before the issue came up. I had to experiment and have time to safely return to meds if things went wrong before we were committed to a pregnancy timeline.

It has been a tricky process. I have felt much better off my meds than I felt on them - and even Jason has noticed that I seem to be doing better without them than I was with them. On the other hand, I am more susceptible to the ill will of bipolar, so I am fighting the annoying impulsivity that it brings as well as a touch more tendency toward depression. But really, if I have to monitor myself a little more, it is so worth it not to have to fill prescriptions and see doctors and all that stuff. Not that I wouldn't return to it in a heartbeat if I needed it.....

How can I be without meds??? I really and truly believe that it is a combination of having "gotten my house in order" and following a certain lifestyle. First, I dealt with a lot of past garbage - a LOT of emotional stuff that had been weighing me down. Second, I resolved some things that were continuing to bother me - such as finally getting married, finally buying a house and finally getting to it on the whole grad school thing. Getting those items "dealt with" really, really moved me forward and I'm happy that they were "dealt with" in happy ways!!

The lifestyle change has been the biggest influence on my mental health and I recommend it to anyone who struggles not just with bipolar, but with any mental health issue:

1. Exercise - Research shows that exercise improves mental health and I can tell you that anecdotal evidence also supports this. As part of my regimen to cope with being bipolar, I have worked on various forms of exercise to figure out what works best. For me, it is anything involving the outdoors and anything mind/body. I do not enjoy the gym - to me it is sterile and I find it a little overwhelming. I have a really hard time with the gym smell - that combo of sweat and the spray to disinfect machines. Instead, I choose things that, like I said, are outdoors or mind/body related. This past winter I learned how to snowshoe (not that there's much to it, but still). Right now I'm loving an app on my phone that has me training for a 5K (couch to 5K) and I've found a yoga studio to make my home. When the gov't shutdown is over, I can learn how to use our 10,000 lakes in MN to canoe and kayak, both of which I love.

Exercise combines a few things that are essential to mental health. One, it gets all of the good chemicals going in the brain. Two, being outside is crazy important in order to get Vitamin D, which in our world these days we just don't get enough of, no matter how much fortified food we consume. Vitamin D is ESSENTIAL to our mental functioning and we can pretty much only get it from sunlight. This is why I try for as much outdoor activity as possible - when I soak up that Vitamin D, I feel sooooo good!

2. FOOD - The biggest and best change I ever made in my life was to my eating. When I can, which is not always possible if we're out of town or eating out, but in my home, I eat organic and whole foods. Removing the chemicals and pesticides from my diet has contributed to my mental health in ways I cannot describe. I actually feel BAD - like my emotions tank - when I eat food with artificial sweeteners or that is highly processed. One meal here or there I can handle, but if I consume too much in a row, I will become so emotional and irritable it is unbearable. Also, eating good, whole food provides me with nutrients that support bodily processes, which includes mental functioning. A lot of people who are dieting eat "diet food", which is filled with chemicals and artificial sweeteners, think they are doing well for their body, but it's just not good! I would much rather treat myself on occasion to a bite or piece of something involving natural food, even if it is a lot of calories, than to ice cream or jello that is "sugar-free" or "low-cal". I used to eat Skinny Cow products, for example.....my advice is don't do it!!!

3. SLEEP - Sleep is a vital component to our healthy functioning and it is essential to anyone who struggles with mental health. I now make sure that I am getting at least seven hours every night on a good routine. It is not something to sacrifice!

4. Choosing happiness - I have not had many models in my life of how to choose happiness. I have had models of people with regrets, people filled with "shoulds" who then "don't" and people who want to hide. My dad's favorite phrase was that life was a "shit sandwich". Really? cause it's not. Sometimes bad things happen - yes, yes they do - but often we are in control of what's going on and when we want different things, we can choose to change them. I choose things that make me happy, and not momentary happiness, but bigger happiness. I choose work that is gratifying and I have chosen grad school because work is no longer making me as happy as it once was and I need to continue to search for ways to be professionally fulfilled. I choose personal happiness by meeting new people and (hopefully) making new friends and working to strengthen my existing relationships, even if I have made mistakes in the past. In the every day, I will not be beaten by the little things, although sometimes they do beat me for a few minutes of tears ;) I refuse to let stress and circumstances rob me of the good life that I intend to have. Choosing happiness takes some work, but when you can be happy most days, in most minutes of most days, it is really, really worth it.

And so, here I am, almost med-free. I am healthier than I have ever been in my life. I work hard every day to make sure that my life is happy and meaningful. If I ever need to be back on medication, so be it. For today, I get to enjoy this freedom and this happiness. Happy 5th of July. I'm off to yoga.